And one more makes 4.

Where my body seemed to be lacking in its ability to evict my son naturally- It has more then made up for it in the breastfeeding department.Ryan is now 8 months old and thriving! He has been exclusively breastfed for all 8 months and growing like a weed. I feel incredibly blessed to be able to support my child completely through my own milk. I know this isn't an option for many.

I also feel incredible pressure to stop breastfeeding and I am not really sure why. I feel like I get this pressure from a generation where breastfeed was thought of as the "hippy" thing to do. Where now it seems like my generation feels like it is almost a disservice to your child if you cannot breastfeed. Most of this pressure derives from people who are not currently mothers- or have never breastfed a child before. So I am not sure why I am giving them much credit in my own head. Mostly I think its because their comments like "what are you going to breastfeed him until he is 5?" and "Don't you want a life?" really seem to rock my nerves. I'm pretty strong but enough of these comments start to get to me.

I can tell you this- the bond I feel with my son is so much more then the bond I felt with my daughter when she was an infant. I don't know if it is because he has been breastfeeding or if it is because he is a second child and I now know just how to love him. I feel bad for 1st children- My daughter seemed to be my learning curve child. I learned how to be a mother with her- which sometimes included crying, grumpiness, confusion and being scared. I already kinda know what I am doing this round so all there is room for is love. Annemarie has taught me so much & I am grateful.

I have to say when I found out I was having another child I was so scared. I didn't know if I was going to be able to love another baby. After all I am an only child- I had no concept of what a multiple child home looks like or acts like. How was I to split my time? My love? Affection? What if he came and I didn't know what to do with a boy? Or what if he didn't like me? Or Annemarie? Oh sure now I think about these feelings and I think they are silly. But really at the time- they kept me up at night.

For a long time I struggled with where I wanted to take this blog. Thats why there haven't been many updates. I think really I might have figured it out. I have many passions but decorating, cooking & mothering seem to be high on the list. This blog will be a mix of the them until one or the other takes over. All are Made by Me- My projects, my food & my kids.